My ultimate goal was to be in Rio De Janeiro this year, covering the Olympics but I’m not.
I remember way back in 2009 from the moment when it was announced that the city would host the Games, I was determined to make it there. I had never seen someone from my hometown doing something so amazing, in my eyes. But I was told to dream big. Do what you can, where you are, with what you have and God will take care of the rest. I didn’t feel worthy of my dream at times though. I used to feel embarrassed that my friends and people around me wanted simple things, things we’d seen other people around us have. I thought I was greedy. I played small for other people.
While I betrayed my dream and refused to pursue it, life happened to me. I got knocked down. Several times. Nothing went my way. I got beaten black and blue. I got tired of losing. I had no idea what I would do with my life. My dream seemed further away than it had ever been. One day, I had had enough, I was about to throw in the towel when my dad asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I think I was being silly when I decided to tell him about one of the most vivid dreams I had when I was younger, about going to Rio, about being a great damn journalist or broadcaster at the world’s biggest event. I think I might have been hoping he would think I was silly too and would confirm my own decision to quit on me. My dad was so incredible in that moment. He sat quietly and thought for a moment before telling me: “Okay, do it. Just take it easy.”
It would’ve made for a great Hollywood story if I picked myself up from the dirt in that moment and did everything I could to make my dream come true. But that’s not how it happened. Life happened some more. I failed, I got knocked down some more but I carried on.
Ordinarily, I would be so pissed off at failing to achieve a goal I set out, but I’m not. Because just a few short years ago I had no idea what to do with my life or any idea of what I would be doing today. It’s not where I wanted to be but it isn’t where I used to be and it’s in the right direction.
I just wish one person would be around to see me do this.
Mawandinho 